Irregular Norm

The city of Prague officially became one of my top five favorite cities in the world after my recent visit over the Thanksgiving holiday.  But, as much as I enjoyed my recent trip, it would have been a perfect time if it weren’t for one tiny debacle.

Two days prior to my departure for Prague, I had the misfortune of being informed by the psychotic, evil ex-boyfriend of my travel companion that he was to join us in the trip.  This was quite unexpected and naturally I was upset.  So, I decided to use the two days before our trip to prepare myself mentally so that I’d still have the greatest time regardless of what happens.  Boy, was I wrong.

The very moment our plane landed on the soil of the historic and very beautiful city, Prague, my friend’s ex, whom I’d like to refer to as Evil-X henceforth, decided to use the trip as another opportunity to engage in a fatal feud with my friend.  Although this was not so apparent to me at first, all of the signs leading up to the horrific climax that transpired later during dinner were certainly there.  And all it took to trigger the dramatic moment was the simple and very innocent question, "is everything OK?"

Somehow, Evil-X did not know until this trip that the person he lived with for 6 years is much older than what he was lead to believe.  Somehow, Evil-X still believed that he was in a relationship with my friend with whom he had a mutual breakup more than a year ago.  And somehow, Evil-X did not get the point that being together with my friend was a disaster for 6 years and still is.

What got me the most wasn’t really the fact that I was put in the middle of a couple’s brawl in a foreign city.  But, what did lead me to explode on the 2nd day of our trip was Evil-X’s constant negativity and condescending attitude ever since we set foot on Prague International Airport.  So, to reclaim my deserved right to have a great time and enjoy my stay in a city as magnificent and beautiful as Prague, I was forced to utter to Evil-X the following extremely harsh, cruel, and very true words– words of guilt that will forever haunt me in my subconscious mind:

"I was telling you last night that I felt bad for you for being so negative all the time and for not being a happy person.  But, now I understand why no one likes you.  I have yet to meet a single person who does.  You are a freak of nature… The fact that people liked you last night at the bars was all sexual.  That is all what people see you as.  Let’s not say anything more to each other.  I am going to let you hang out with us but, I am just going to pretend that you don’t exist."

The above words were replayed over and over in my head for the next several hours but they somehow reversed the tragic path that our trip was headed.  We all ended up enjoying the rest of our stay.  I spent most of my remaining time with the lovely local, Gina, who gave me the most amazing personal perspective of the city, while my friend and Evil-X spent time together dealing with their own personal dilemma.

I like to believe that I am, for the most part, a sane and calm individual.  At the same time, it is important to me that others believe the same thing about me.  But,  there is definitely a hidden rage in me that seems to only pop out when I’m on the  road, in my car.  This rage almost always finds its way out of me (so very uncontrollably) whenever I run into colossal morons on the road with absolutely no  knack for operating a motor vehicle.

For those of us who are on the road quite frequently, there exists an understood "common courtesy" for driving.  There are certain codes that the experienced drivers  abide by.  As the driving experience grows, the codes become more ingrained.   Unfortunately, not all drivers share this experience.  A lot of drivers just don’t get it.  My rage would certainly be confined if these nincompoop drivers just adhere to the following simple codes:

1. When a car ahead enters the highway, either slow down or switch to another lane to give that vehicle the opportunity to enter the traffic flow with ease.
2. Do not switch lanes for no reason at all.
3. If driving on the left lane of a highway and a car is approaching from behind, get  out of the way.  The left lane is known as the "fast" lane.
4. Do not tailgate.  Tailgating is for the deserving targets like slow drivers.
5. Use signals at all times and look around when turning or switching lanes.  Do not  assume that just because nothing is visible from the mirrors, it is safe to make a  move.  This is called being aware of your "blind spot."
6. Do not block driveways, intersections, or side roads.  This is how gridlocks are formed.
7. Do not slow down traffic with idiotic mistakes or by not paying close attention to signs and traffic patterns.  A great percentage of traffic congestion is caused by drivers not paying adequate attention or making stupid mistakes.
8. When approaching a splitting lane on the highway, do not slow down to the point of  halting traffic.  See #7.
9. If looking to find something like a particular road or house, get off the freaking  road.  Do not slow down and cause a traffic jam behind you.  See #7.
10. Keep traffic moving.  While driving, don’t put on makeup, don’t drink coffee (or alcohol for that matter), don’t eat, don’t use your cell phone, and for God’s sake, don’t fall asleep.  See #7.

Despite finding my blog interesting, albeit heavy at times, some people feel that I make postings too frequently.  Apparently, the average of four per month is too many.  This only further proves my point in an earlier posting regarding the speed and irregularities of time.  But, having been on a "sabbatical" from this realm of the electronic bliss for some time, I feel that it is now time for another posting.

November is here and we are once again in the midst of a period where cinemas across the country are filled with Oscar-caliber movies.  I don’t know how the members of the Academy of Motion Pictures find time to watch all of such wonderful films, but there are some movies that simply cannot be missed or ignored.

Last night, I had the pleasure of seeing one of such incredible movies called Paradise Now.  The movie is about two childhood friends who have been chosen to carry out the next suicidal bombing in Tel Aviv.  But, instead of being about a cold-blooded mission carried out by two Palestinian terrorists, the story takes us to the very heart of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.  The director does this so cleverly by avoiding to take any sides.  In the end, it essentially becomes clear that the two friends represent the debate over which side of a Palestinian’s terminal decision is superior and the female lead stands for the universal human conscious.

If you haven’t already seen this movie, see it.  You will undoubtedly grasp a deep understanding of a major human struggle that exists in our world today.

My greatest vice is undoubtedly my inability to be on-time for anything.  They say that I’ll be late for my own funeral and I’m afraid they might be right.  But, what I will not agree to is the notion that my tardiness is deliberate.  I’m an extremely self-conscious person and I do not strive to be the rude SOB that some people derive from my unpunctuality.

The truth is that my mental composition severely lacks the necessary ingredients for promptitude.  I say this with the greatest candor and sincerity.  My consistent tardiness is truely deep-rooted.  I don’t know where this "Achilles’ heel" comes from but it is something that I’ve lived with my entire life.  I’ve been told that prescribed drugs would help tremendously but I’m fearful to take that route due to the many side-effects associated with prescribed medication.  I will illustrate the subject weakness with 2 actual scenarios.

Scenario 1:

I have an event to attend to at 8:00 pm on a Saturday night with a friend.  I wake up at noon which is really a little later than when I normally get up on a work day.  [Yes, per concurrence with my bosses, I have effectively created my own work schedule due to my irregular nature with time.]  I have 8 hours before my scheduled appointment and the time would pass as follows:
     12:30 pm:  I turn on the TV.
     1:00 pm:  I have a late breakfast.
     2:00 pm:  I read my bible (i.e. Time magazine) and/or Entertainment Weekly.
     3:30 pm:  I get on-line to check e-mail and get caught up with today’s news.
     5:00 pm:  I’m still on-line, now wasting time visiting meaningless web-sites.
     6:00 pm:  I realize that I should eventually start getting ready.  [At this point, my subconcience takes complete control of my conscious and physicality.  I'm suddenly fooled to think that two hours is plenty of time to also clean my house before getting ready to make my appointment.]
     7:15 pm:  I stop in the middle of cleaning my house and notice that I’m running late once again.
     7:55 pm:  I notify the party I am to meet that I’ll be late.
     8:15 to 8:30 pm:  I make my appointment.  [15-30 minutes LATE]

Scenario 2:

The scenario is the same as the first except that for some miraculous reason, I am able to overcome my subconscious at 6pm when I realize that I need to start getting ready.  So, after a process of prep and groom, I depart my home and eventually make my appointment a few minute early.  [Yes, there are actual witnesses to such rare moments in time.]  The person I’m meeting arrives a few minutes late believing that I’ll be late.  We attend the event and have a great time.  Then it happens.  My 2-day sabbatical begins almost immediately after I return home due to extreme emotional exhaustion.  This has happened every time I’ve been able to overcome my fatal flaw, ever since I was a small child.

I hope this now explains my unpunctuality to all the cynics.  So, don’t hate!  Appreciate!

Time is a funny thing.  As we grow older, it seems to be traveling faster.  I blink once, it is Friday.  I blink again, it is Monday.  I blink several times, the month is over.  And, when I blink a dozen times, the year is gone.  The fact that I have another birthday coming up is terrifying to me since I can barely remember my 21st birthday, for which my college roommates threw me the most amazing surprise party.  But, somehow life did not seem to go so quickly when I lived in Afghanistan as a child, as my elders who lived there now concur.  Time seemed to function differently then– it dragged.  There must be some logical explanation for this abstruseness.  If only I was caught up with time, even for a mere moment, I could realize some of the obvious reasons.

I have recently been consumed with the aforementioned thought so much that I had to just stop everything in order to put things a bit in perspective.  The following is what I’ve come up with:

Life in Kabul, Afghanistan in the mid 1970’s:

• Very little TV:  Small number of stations and very small number of households with TV
• No video games
• Relaxed and short work schedules
• Limited cinemas with quality movies
• City living with short distance travel
• Fun was often derived from simplicity and limited variety of choices, leading to creativity
• Common interests for fun:  Soccer, Kite Fighting, Movies, Picnics
• Vast amount of leisure time
• The worse that came out of having too much free time was to engage in gossip
• Most people were happy

Life in Washington, DC Metropolitan in the mid 2000’s:

• Too much TV:  Free Channels, Basic Cable, Advanced Cable, Satellite TV, Advanced Sat elite TV, etc.
• Too many video games
• Long work schedules
• Too many cinemas with too many movies
• Suburban living with long distance travel
• Fun is often derived from a huge variety of choices, leading to lack of imagination
• No common interests for fun
• Very little or no leisure time
• Many people experience fatigue and depression as a result of having very little free time
• Most people are not happy

While I now fully recognize the nature of time as it pertains to me today, I sometimes crave a life of simplicity.  Unfortunately, having been ingrained for many years by the ways of a capitalistic society, it seems unimaginable to ever be able to go back to a life of complete tranquility, as it seemed to have been the case in Afghanistan.  But, I am optimistic, as I strive to reach a time when I would no longer live by my blinks.

I’ve been told by several people that my postings are a bit heavy.  Fortunately, the new HBO show "Rome" presents me with an opportunity to break the mold a little.  While the content of this incredibly fierce show is baffling at times, especially to those who missed the first two episodes, the dialogue is incredibly campy and the storylines are very amusing.  The following are a few recent examples:

The character Gaius Octavian, who is a gifted young man with amazing intelligence, is about to become of age.  His snobbish, salacious, and very wicked mother, Atia of the Julii, is consumed with making that happen.  In this week’s episode, right after suggesting that Octavian join Gaius Julius Caesar’s army to "get some real Pompeian blood on your sword," she nonchalantly asks him if he has started penetrating anyone.  When Octavian responds no, she enlists Titus Pullo, a courageous and loyal warrior, to help him.  Later, after Octavian apathetically chooses an "adequate" woman in a brothel from a group that includes teenage boys, and after hearing her sad tale about her murdered parents, he tells her to get on her hands and knees.

In the same episode, after Atia is callously shunned a marriage proposal and called a "wicked old harby" by the dashing Mark Antony, she shifts her preoccupation to rekindling her relationship with Servilia of Junii, whom she humiliated in an earlier episode.  This is just so that she does not lose ties with nobility in case Caesar is defeated against Pompei Mangus, the former commander of Rome.  What makes the whole scene especially funny is that she does this by sending her a naked and very well-endowed man (shown to viewers on screen) carrying gold and a gilded turtle shell.

Finally, my favorite scene, which is more fierce than droll and from the previous episode, is after when Caeser breaks up with Servilia as a result of one of Atia’s extremely devious schemes.  Servilia seeks revenge using a book of magic and summons her ancestors to invoke a curse on both Caeser and Atia.  The curse to Caeser, which is especially amusing, goes as follows:  "Let his penis wither. Let his bones crack. Let him see his legions drown in their own blood…"

I would like to now take this opportunity to extend the very eloquent curse above to the person who has upset and disappointed me the most this year (hint:  he sometimes identifies himself with the Greek god Dionysus) and anyone else with malice.  May the great Jupiter strike thee forever with bolts of thunder!  Amen.

One of the greatest stories ever written that depicts human nature in its truest form is William Golding’s Lord of the Flies.  I feel forever indebted to the Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) for having it a required reading during my sophomore year in high school. I don’t believe any other piece of literature has captured the raw human essence better.  Golding’s masterpiece begs a very important question:  Why is it much easier for mankind to succumb to evil than good in the most delicate of times?  The aftermath of the Katrina catastrophe is a perfect example.

First, the focus that consumed the thoughts of a lot of Americans during the first two weeks after Katrina hit the American soil was sadly about who was to blame for the havoc that occurred after Katrina instead of the actual relief efforts.  While it is true that Katrina has exposed the many problems of FEMA and the Department of Homeland Security, the immediate focus should have been to help the people affected instead of building hatred for possible culprits. 

Another example of the human malevolence was sadly present within the many people who have been directly affected by the Katrina disaster.  Why wasn’t the people’s natural instinct to organize themselves in a fashion that would help each other during this terrible time instead of allowing a barbaric environment to be formed where women were getting raped and people getting murdered?  It is fascinating to see that even in the 21st century, savagery is so easily attained, especially in a country as advanced as the U.S.  Are we all so doomed in such a time as the aftermath of Katrina that we would naturally turn to barbarity?

I sometimes feel lonely to sense a close connection with Ralph in Goldin’s magnificent story.  Ralph was the character who believes until the end that salvation is met through order, democracy, and goodness.  He is initially chosen as the leader for his many positive qualities and charisma.  But, he is quickly replaced by Jack, the character who harbours the emotions of anger and savagery, as everyone start to realize that they would not get rescued.  I wonder with great fear how I would be if I were ever in the midst of a disaster.  Which character would I be drawn to more?  I pray and hope that there would always be a Ralph in me, no matter what the circumstance.

Fortunately, there exist numerous Ralphs in today’s world to have come to the aid of the many victims of Katrina.  The following link is the simplest way anyone can help make Ralph immortal:  Donate to The American Red Cross

Buenos Aires, Argentina, here we are…

Two weeks ago, I experienced a first win as a defendant in a lawsuit involving an automobile accident. How the case concluded became the highlight of my week due to its John Grisham- and Scott Turow-esque nature. A rundown of the case would have been the posting in this BLOG then if it weren’t for the devastating end of a friendship that I was faced with later that day. Fortunately, because I’ve been able to put the loss of a friendship behind me, the riveting story that was placed on the back burner two weeks ago can now be told.

The accident occurred on December 17, 2003 in Washington, DC, as I was making a left turn on a dangerous intersection on Connecticut and Nebraska Avenues. What transpired the next several minutes became the backdrop for a lawsuit that I was served with more than a year later. First, I made the terrible mistake of apologizing to the other driver for the accident. Then, the cop that showed up at the scene decided that I was the culprit and issued me a citation. And, to make things even worse, I did not contest the ticket for reasons I do not want to include here to avoid making this posting longer than it already is.

Sixteen months after my insurance refused to accept me to be at fault, the other driver served me with a lawsuit for which the court date was eventually set for August 17, 2005. The day before the court date, I was advised by my very apt and insurance-designated lawyer to take the entire afternoon off for the case. Little did I know that frivolous lawsuits could actually take so long. On the day of the case, upon my arrival at 12:30 p.m. sharp at the County Circuit Court in Silver Spring, my lawyer took me aside to discuss my case with me. As she began to tell me that the plaintiff’s witness, the only witness at the scene of the accident, could not be reached, the deponent miraculously appeared beside us, only to tell us that he was going to corroborate with my account. Did the prosecution even know what was going to be said by their own witness?

The case eventually began at around 3:30 p.m. The prosecution went first with the plaintiff as the first witness, as it is usually the case with automobile suits. The prosecution’s case was immediately faced with trouble due to the plaintiff’s hostility and lack of adequate replies on the witness stand. On cross-examination, she made her case worse by admitting to the traffic light being yellow at the time of the accident. Also, she could not remember the color of the light seconds before entering the intersection. Then, the prosecution’s star eyewitness made their case even worse with his shocking testimony as we had predicted, even though he had changed his story a bit after conferring with the prosecution right before the case began. "What made you first notice Ms. Bonilla’s car," my lawyer asked. "I noticed Ms. Bonilla’s white car rapidly passing by me toward the intersection. I was stopped to make a left." "What was the color of the light?" "I don’t recall," replied the witness. With obvious sign of agitation due to the witness’ change of account from earlier, my lawyer barked, "What was the color of the light at the time of the accident?" "Definitely yellow," replied the nervous law student on the witness stand.

I was called to the stand next by my counsel. My testimony: I approached the intersection with a visible green left arrow. When I entered the intersection, the light turned to solid green and I waited. When the light turned yellow, I started to proceed to make a left turn to clear the intersection. Almost immediately, my car was struck by Ms. Bonilla’s car from the opposite direction. It looked like she was trying to beat the light. This was the exact version of the eyewitness’ account when he first spoke with us before the case began.

On cross-examination, the opposing counsel asked why I told Ms. Bonilla that it was my fault. I replied by saying that I did not admit to any faults. However, because Ms. Bonilla seemed very distraught as a result of the accident, I tried to calm her down by telling her that I was sorry. The plaintiff’s lawyer then attempted to ask a question regarding any tickets that may have been issued. My counsel immediately objected since traffic tickets are inadmissible in traffic-related lawsuits. The judge sustained. Then, the prosecution tried to ask me why I evaded the lawsuit when I was being served, hoping to show guilt on my part. My counsel objected again and instructed me not to reply due to the irrelevance of the prosecutor’s line of questioning. The judge sustained again.

By the time the closing remarks were to be presented, it was quite evident whom the judge would side with in the end. The prosecution gave their closing statement first. When it was my counsel’s turn, it was very obvious she was prepared to win. In her closing statement, she presented to the court two distinct DC laws: 1) Drivers shall reduce speed when approaching an intersection; 2) Drivers shall stop on a yellow light. The accident occurred in DC and the law to be considered needed to be that of DC. To further attack the prosecution’s frivolous case, my counsel practically destroyed the plaintiff’s claim for injury by pointing out the numerous flaws in her injury report. By the time her closing statement was concluded at 6:00 p.m., the prosecution’s case that seemed a sure win months before, was completely wiped.

The judge’s ruling: This is a clear case of one of the parties breaking the law. It has been proven today that it was the plaintiff who was at fault. The plaintiff broke the law by not only driving at an unreasonable speed when approaching an intersection but also did not pay proper attention to the traffic signal. The defendant was the responsible driver. My judgement is for the defense.

We are on a flat land playing, laughing, talking.  The sky is blue and the sun is bright.  Then, we see a dust of cloud in the far distance.  It has a grayish color.  We realize it is an explosion of some sort but it does not scare us.  We talk and laugh and play more.  The day is very happy.  Then, we hear a loud noise.  The cloud in the background gets bigger and its color is reddish brown this time.  We start to notice something haunting about it.  We feel that there lies something deadly ahead of us.  We ignore it since it is very surreal.  We talk more.  We laugh more.  We play more.  Another cloud is formed in the nearest distance.  It is full of color this time.  But, we get extremely worried now.  Next, we notice giant checkered balls in the colors of yellow, red, brown, white, and green, dominating the empty streets with no surrounding homes.  The balls approach us.  A reddish gas is emitted from the balls and we hold our breath momentarily.  We wonder what would happen to us if we were to inhale the odorless gas? 

Is this the end of our time?

Seconds pass and I wake up from the most terrifying dream about a possibility that lies ahead of us.